Im still here…So I’m going to do more.

As I run into 2020 with big dreams for the year and with hope for the next decade, I am very aware that I also need to say more and do more, because I am lucky enough to still be here.

In the last couple of weeks we lost two women, taken by the very people that were supposed to love and cherish them. I am angry, and frustrated.  I feel somewhat hopeless and so very, very sad, but then I know those feelings while valid, will only take me so far. Now it is time for action.

I am annoyed at myself for not raising more awareness, for not asking for more donations for SHINE. Domestic violence is an uncomfortable topic and I didn’t want to push it too hard. I didn’t want to put people off.

But to hell with that!

The reality that we can’t ignore is that domestic violence is messy, complicated, and also very dangerous, if it doesn’t take a life, then it still can take a lifetime to heal. We need to talk about the women and children we have lost. To them I am sorry. Sorry we didn’t do more, care more, ask more questions and keep them safe. As a community, neighbourhood, and in our own families we need to do more. We didn’t do enough to save all those that we lost, but we can honour those lives by standing up and making a difference.

I know it’s hard, I know you don’t want to pry, I understand that “relationship problems” might feel like something you shouldn’t get involved with, but if we don’t, more people will die. If you don’t know what to do or say then ring the SHINE helpline, or a Refuge, just don’t do nothing.

I am running into 2020 free, and with that freedom I am damn well going to make a difference for those who are aren’t free. So who is with me? Who is ready to make 2020 the year we really push for change? Who is ready for action not just talk? Who is ready to be brave enough to have the hard conversations, and willing enough to give to the charities that pick up the pieces of what is an inconvenient truth of our society?

So this year, even though it’s hard and uncomfortable I’m going to find a way to make a difference, I’ll have a louder voice, I will do better, because I am still here and I can.

Please donate to my SHINE page, we are a long way off the $5000 target, and we have three months to get there!

Some other practical ways you can help:


Giving Used Goods to help survivors set up new lives:

If you or someone you know needs help:

Shine’s domestic abuse Helpline is 0508-744-633, free-to-call from any phone in New Zealand 7 days a week, from 9am-11pm.

Womens refuge 0800 733 843 OR phone 111

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