Here’s one for my comparers. You know who you are. You’ve probably worked yourself into a right state at some time or another because you just didn’t seem to be at the level of your friends, colleagues, team members 😏
We’ve all been there. Most likely when we are huffing and puffing, fearing that at any moment we will drop from exhaustion – meanwhile our friend is trotting alongside us and has hardly broken a sweat. Or, perhaps, like my more recent experience, I seem to be terrified and almost paralysed with fear while my climbing buddies just trot on past like we are just out for a walk in the park! Or, digging back into the archives of comparison, I imagine we can remember a time we felt we didn’t measure up at school or uni.
If you’re anything like me, sometimes these situations can lead to a downwards spiral of self-flagellation and despair. ‘Why am I so slow, scared, (insert your own feeling of inadequacy here)’ 😔
The key though is to show yourself some compassion and just don’t compare. We are all at different stages of our journeys and bring different skills and life experiences to the table. Comparing ourselves, or putting ourselves down for not being at the same level as someone else serves no purpose other than to make us feel bad.
As an ultra-runner, I am reasonably experienced, as a mountaineer, I am a complete newbie, the same goes for climbing. It is interesting to be at different stages in different sports because it has once again reminded me that comparison is truly the thief of joy.
Instead, it makes more sense to have conversations and learn from those more experienced and give yourself some grace and permission to be exactly where you are right now, knowing that every day you are improving and growing 🙌
Questions to ask when you find yourself comparing:
⚖️ Does this comparison help me or hinder me?
⚖️ What can I learn from the people I am comparing myself to?
⚖️ How can I reframe this comparison?
⚖️ If I’m not where I want to be, how can I improve? Is it a mindset or physical skill shortcoming?
⚖️ Can I let this comparison go and give myself grace right now? How would I feel if I let this go?